Growing Up, Getting Married and Letting Go
by SomedayonBroadway
Summary: Jack wasn't quite ready to let go yet.


**Hello friends! I'm back. Sorry about that wait. But here we are again with another request! **

**This was one from AriaMoon_79252. I do apologize, I know you did say fluff... but... that's hard for me. I was really excited to write this one though. **

**Happy birthday AriaMoon_79252! I really hope you enjoy this one! And, if not, feel free to scream at me. **

**Please enjoy! **

Things were changing now. Jack wasn't sure he was ready.

"I'm sorry... what?"

"Look... you are the most important person in the world to him n' I know that this is weird an' awkward an' I know you don't like me that much but..." the young man sitting across from him sighed, scratching at the back of his neck, uncomfortably. "Jack, I love you're little brother. I love him more than anythin'... n'..." Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out a small, square box. He set the thing down on the table. "I want your blessin' ta ask him ta marry me..."

Everything slowed down. Jack's heart was beating fast as he reached down for that small box. When he flipped it open, his heart stopped. This was real. This was happening. And Jack was terrified.

The band was silver. A simple, silver band with a gorgeous pattern swirling around on it. "It's engraved... has the day we met inside..."

"Spot..." Jack didn't know if he could do this. He shut the box and set it back down, taking a deep breath and standing up. He had to move. He had to do something. "He... I don't know... it ain't-"

"It ain't that simple. I know," Spot stated. He did. He did know. He really did. "But... I love him. N' I would do anything ta make sure he stays safe and healthy..."

Pieces of his little brother's life flashed through Jack's head. A baby, barely big enough to survive, a cord wrapped around his neck that was even smaller. The first time Jack had held him, he'd been a reckless seven year old and even then he'd been terrified of breaking him. After that, Jack never wanted to let him go. He'd held him through the nightmares and the bruises and the broken bones. He'd held him through the worst moments in both of their lives.

_"Am I gonna die?"_

Those words rang in Jack's head everyday. He'd held him through the hospital visits and the treatments and the hard nights. And even though the kid knew how to take care of himself now, Jack couldn't help but still see him as that helpless kid who always called out for him for everything.

But Race wasn't a kid anymore.

"You can support him? Completely?" Jack asked, turning back to the young man sitting so patiently in his apartment. Though, Jack took pride in the fact that the boy from Brooklyn actually looked nervous.

"Yes! Yes, I's just got a job at the high school a few blocks from my apartment as a history teacher. N' I still got that job fixin' cars that I can work in the afternoon and on weekends. We'll have enough, I swear!" Spot rushed out. "N' Racer's still got his job at the bar. We'll make it work." He needed Jack to say yes. He didn't know what he'd do if Jack didn't say yes.

"You'll take care of him? Make sure he takes care of himself?"

"Everyday, Jack," Spot swore. "I've got him. I love him."

Things were changing. Jack wasn't ready.

A sigh escaped him as he placed his hands on his hips. His entire screamed. He wasn't ready to let go. "How are ya gonna ask him?"

Spot grinned.

Katherine did too, from her position behind the door of their bedroom. She couldn't help it. Jack was letting go. And she was proud of him.

The day that it happened, Jack could hardly stand still. He paced the length of his apartment, his wife sat on the couch, reading a book, trying to get him to settle down. Jack couldn't. He knew that Spot has taken him over to Coney Island. He knew it was supposed to happen at sunset. He knew he was stressed out and overprotective, even overbearing sometimes. But Race was his little brother. The one he practically broke his back trying to keep alive and well. Race was the only blood he had left. How could he not be?

When his phone rang, Jack ran to it. Katherine grabbed it before he could, giving him a look that said to calm down. She was right. He needed to. And after a few rings she handed the small device to him. "Take a deep breath, love. He's okay..." she stated simply as he took the thing. He could only nod as he answered it.

"Hey, baby brother. What's up?" He knew what was up. But he still wasn't ready.

"Spot asked me to marry him! Jack... I'm getting married!" He sounded so excited. Even though terror coursed through his veins, he couldn't help but let a small smile spread across his face at how happy his little brother sounded.

"I'm so happy for you, kiddo," Jack laughed sincerely. It was hard. But if Race was happy, he could be too.

The kid began to ramble. It was something he did when he was excited or nervous. Or both. He told Jack all about how Spot proposed and his fiancé was no doubt standing right next to him, admiring the way he could go on for hours about something that happened in a single moment. And then...

"I know it's early... but will you be my best man?"

That was something that Jack truly had not been expecting. Race had a best friend. Charlie. Though, most of them had taken to lovingly calling him Crutchie, as he had to use elbow crutches to get around. The kid was tough. They'd tried to tell him he'd need a wheelchair for the rest of his life, but he'd resisted. Him and Race had met in the hospital. They'd survived together. Jack had always just assumed Race would want Charlie to be his best man. But all he could stutter out was, "I-If that's what you want, pal... I'd be honored."

It was so hard.

Race didn't come home that night. In fact, there were plenty of nights when Race stayed out, with Spot. Jack knew those nights would come. He still wasn't ready.

He especially wasn't ready to go with Race to try his suit on.

Jack had never had any idea how many different tuxes and suits there were in the world. Katherine held his hand as they waited for Race to come out in the one that Spot and him had gotten created just for him. They'd done it together. Crutchie sat next to them, his feet kicked up on Jack's lap, patiently waiting for his best friend to walk out and show them his wedding look. And Medda, the angel that had adopted Charlie and unofficially adopted everyone else, was sitting in a chair, simply watching the scene before her.

The second Race came out of the dressing room, Jack knew that was it. His little brother always knew what would look the best. But Jack never imagined he'd get so emotional so quick. "What do you think?" the young man asked, straightening out the jacket and turning from the mirror to look at them.

It was a white suit. A dark blue shirt underneath it. Spot and him had talked colors already. The other man's suit was supposed to be just the opposite of this. No one ever knew Race's eyes could be so blue until this moment. "You look wonderful, baby," Medda said, getting up to hug him. Tears came to Race's eyes as he embraced her. And he looked over her shoulder to see the rest of their reactions.

Crutchie was smiling at him, nodding, telling him that he was happy for him with no words at all. Katherine rushed up to hug him just as Medda let go, so extremely happy for her brother-in-law, a boy who had been like her own brother himself. And Jack sat there, completely speechless.

Once the hugs were done, once Charlie had had his turn too, Race just walked over to his big brother. "What d'ya think, Jackie?" It took Jack a moment to respond, to even stand. Race was twenty years old now. He didn't need Jack smothering him anymore. He didn't need Jack to check on him at night to make sure he was still breathing. He wasn't a child anymore. But Jack had never been ready for this. His baby brother was getting married. He was all grown up now.

"I think you look breathtaking, kiddo..." he breathed out, grasping his brother's shoulders loving that grin that met him. He could never get enough of that smile. "I'm so happy for you..."

Weddings were hard. Jack knew that. He'd gone through one with Katherine too, just a couple years prior. And there was always those moments, the ones where they'd question whether or not they were doing the right thing, whether or not they were ready. For Jack and Katherine, it had been because of her father. For Spot and Race, it was more a matter of the constant hospitalization.

Jack had gotten the call at midnight. It was a few weeks before the wedding now. And Spot was pacing back and forth in a hospital hallway, panic evident in his voice. "Jack, Race is real sick again..."

Jack and Katherine were out the door in minutes.

When they got there, Spot was still pacing outside of Race's room. The Brooklyn boy looked up at Jack like he was Superman when he got there. "Thank, God!" he sighed, rushing up to the couple and wiping the tears out of his eyes. "I don't know what to do. He just started coughing and wheezing n' told me ta take him to the hospital n' I ain't neva' done all this by myself n' I don't know what ta do! I swear, he didn't even tell me he was sick!"

If the world worked Jack's way, he would've swept Race up and held him for the rest of his life. If the world worked Jack's way, Race wouldn't have to grow up. But this wasn't a fantasy.

Jack let his hand slip from Katherine's as he went over to the window on his brother's door. The kid looked to be asleep, but Jack knew better than that. Race hated sleeping in hospitals, no matter how used to it he should've been. He hated the breathing masks and the tubes and whatever else they hooked him up to. He was waiting for arms to surround him and someone to distract him from the white walls and paper sheets.

And that someone couldn't be him.

"I ain't goin' in there, Spot..." It hurt to say. He wanted so desperately to go in, to hold tightly to the boy who would nuzzle into his chest and sigh against him. He wanted so desperately to rock him back and forth until he fell asleep.

"What?" Spot asked, taken aback; confused. Jack had always rushed in without even a word to Spot. Jack had never wanted Spot near his brother in the first place. It never helped that Spot was three years older than Race, covered in tattoos and from Brooklyn. Jack never wanted Spot near Race.

But Race seemed to love him.

"You need to go in there and hold him. He won't sleep if ya don't," he explained, never taking his eyes off of his baby brother. "From now on, ya need ta prepare for this. Both of ya. I know it don't happen as often as it did before, but ya need ta be ready when it does. I can help ya with that. But right now... he needs you," Jack explained.

Spot, the tough young man that he was, almost completely crumbled. "What if I ain't ready for this?" He probably hadn't even meant to say that out loud. Jack honestly didn't know what to tell him. Because he'd always felt the same way. He was always terrified.

But before Jack could even speak, the woman next to him had walked over and taken Spot's hands in her own. "Sean Conlon, listen to me," she said sternly. "That is your fiancé in there. He's the love of your life. All you need to do right now, is go in there and love him. That's it. Can you do that?" she asked calmly, a smile growing on her face when the man nodded, clearing his throat before he made his way to the door, taking a deep breath before stepping inside the room.

Jack didn't let the door close again. He couldn't. He held the thing open and just watched.

"Hey, sweetheart," Spot whispered gently, reaching out to run a hand over his fiancé's arm. "You 'wake?" Race's blue eyes only slowly slid open as he gave one, small nod. He looked exhausted. "Can I hold you, babe?" Again, all he got was a small nod in response. It wasn't the first time Spot had seen Race in this state. But normally, he was in Jack's arms and he was only allowed to watch from the chair at his bedside.

Slowly and gently, Spot slid onto the bed. He pulled Race to him and let the boy curl into him as best he could with all the machines he was hook up to. It took them a while to get comfortable. But when they did, Race was asleep within minutes. And Spot couldn't help but be relieved. He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to the top of his boy's head, looking up to find he'd been watched the whole time.

But Jack only offered him a small nod, tears in his eyes as he tried to find it in himself to smile. Katherine's hand slid back into his. "I'm proud of you," she whispered. Jack couldn't respond. He just held her hand tighter before she rushed to embrace him.

Something inside Jack felt a little lighter as he watched his brother and his fiancé. Something felt okay. It was still hard. But maybe he was feeling a bit readier for this.

Or maybe not.

The wedding was coming up fast. Jack, Crutchie and Spot's best friend Hot Shot we're in charge of planning some kind of bachelor party. Spot and Race wanted to have it together. And that was okay. JoJo- Race's friend from high school- had offered to host. He had a place to set up a nice bar. They'd made it perfect for the couple, completely surrounding them in their favorite colors and pictures. It wasn't anything fancy. But it was perfect for them.

Everyone showed up. The place was packed with people. Jack watched as his brother and his brother's fiancé played games and got drunk. Race took pictures and videos and Spot let him, even though they all knew Spot hated pictures. He always let Race take some of him.

They loved each other. They really did.

Jack had to let go. He just wasn't sure he knew how.

A week later, Race was back in Jack and Katherine's apartment. He took his old room. He was getting married the next day. And they stayed true to this specific superstition. They weren't going to see each other again till they were walking down the isle together.

It was that night that Jack found himself dozing on the couch in front of the television, his wife asleep on his lap as he carded hands through her hair. A light kiss to the side of his head made him glance up. His little brother stood behind the couch, leaning towards him and smiling at him.

"Hey, kiddo..." Jack whispered. "You should get ta bed. Ya got a big day tomorrow," he stated, offering the kid a small smile.

Race nodded. "I just... I wan'ed ta tell you somethin'..." he said, almost nervous. It was odd. Race rarely really got nervous. He was always loud and outspoken unless he was too weak to be so. But Jack just nodded, urging him to continue. "I love you, Jackie... so much... n'... I just wanna thank you," he said hesitantly. "Ya know... for doin' everythin'... for takin' care a' me even though ya didn't have to..."

Jack's whole heart melted. "Course I had to... I love ya, kid... so much..."

Again, Race just pressed a kiss to the older man's head.

That night when Race went to bed, after Jack carried Katherine to theirs, he went out. He had someone he needed to see.

When Spot opened the door, all Jack could see was confusion. "Look, I know ya wanna be sleepin', but I came ta put t'gether a bag. For Racer..." he clarified.

After a moment, Spot nodded and ushered Jack in. "Yeah... okay..."

It wasn't a lie. After all, it was important for Spot to be prepared for the trips to the hospital. They happened. But Jack was more there to talk to the kid. "You know that if you hurt him, I'll kill you, right?" he said after a while of silence as he folded up a soft blanket to lay gently in the backpack they'd found.

Spot froze at that. He paused in passing Jack a few bottles of medication and looked at him seriously. "If I hurt your brother, you will be the first one I ask to push me off a cliff," he responded sincerely. Jack smiled to himself at that.

"Good."

Maybe everything would be okay.

"Jack, I don't know if I can do this!"

Or maybe not.

It was today. It was happening. It was happening now. Race was about to get married and he was sitting in his small tent, manufactured to be his dressing room, completely freaking out.

"What, kid? What's wrong?" Jack asked gently, though he knew Race was about to have some kind of panic attack. That wouldn't be good for anyone.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this... what if this was a mistake? What if it doesn't work? I don't want him to have to deal with everything that comes with me!"

A few months ago, Jack would've told Race to just let Spot go. He would've told Race that it was okay, that he wasn't ready. He would've swept him up and let the kid believe that he still needed him.

But Race wasn't a kid anymore.

"Tyler James Kelly... do you love that man?" he asked quietly, squatting down in front of his brother. Running a hand through his hair. This wasn't Race not being ready. This was Race not wanting to be a burden. When Jack got a small nod in response, he continued on. "Does he make you happy? Make you laugh?" Again, the boy nodded. "Do you want to be with him all the time?" With a small laugh, Race nodded once more, wiping at his tears.

"Yeah... yeah, I love 'im..." Race admitted, sniffling a bit. "But-"

"He feels the exact same way about you, pal," Jack promised. "You are not a burden. He loves you. He wants to take care of you just like you want to take care of him..." he continued, practically begging Race to just pull it together. To not make a mistake that he'd regret for the rest of his long life.

"Okay..." Race whispered, standing up and rushing to hug Jack. "I love you, Jack."

All Jack could do was hold him back. "I love you too, Racer... now let's do this thing."

Jack got to walk down the isle alone. So did the rest of the wedding party. It was a beautiful field, ran for miles. Lights hung everywhere as the sun set. Jack stood next to Crutchie on Race's side and Hot Shot and a girl named Riddle stood on the other side. The crowd wasn't too big. Honestly, Jack didn't pay much attention to them. All he had eyes for when some old love song started playing was the two people at that end of the isles, coming from opposite directions to join in the middle.

The look on Spot's face said it all. He was in love. So completely, helplessly and hopelessly in love. Race would be okay. They all would be.

The two grooms joined hands as they made their way down the small isle. They grasped tightly to each other as they made their way forward, only truly having eyes for each other. They were in a world of their own.

David stood in the center of the stage, waiting to officially marry the young couple. And when they made it there, Jack could see the tears in both their eyes.

The ceremony was perfectly slow. Even David was doing his best not to get emotional as he made a few jokes and talked about how he knew these two kids and how he'd watched them grow together. A tough kid from Brooklyn, kicked out of his parents house, living in his car. A small, sick, self conscious kid from Manhattan taking life one day at a time. They were so different and yet somehow they were meant for each other.

And then, they had things to say to each other.

"Tyler... Racer, you are... everything to me. When I met you, part of me already knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you," Spot stated. Race let out a watery laugh. "You are the most beautiful person that I've ever met. And I promise to tell you that every goddamn day. I promise that I will love you and protect you and worship the ground you walk on because you are my world, babe..."

It was rare for Spot to speak his heart like that. And Jack has never expected it. He really hadn't.

"I know that I can be irrational and I can get angry and you are the only one that's ever been able to pull me out of the places that I get into. You saved me, baby... you save me everyday that I get to wake up and know that you're mine. I promise to always be yours and do my best to deserve you. I love you..."

Race smiled and let his thumb brush over the edge of the sleeve tattoos that traveled down his fiancé's arm. "Wow..." he whispered. "How 'm I s'posed ta follow that?" he laughed as Spot reached up to wipe at his tears.

"With a dramatic flair," Spot shot back. Jack knew that it was an inside joke. But he couldn't help but laugh a little at it.

Still laughing, even through his tears, Race took his vows from David and let go of Spot's hands to read them, his hands trembling as he did so. "Spotty... I don't know what else I can say, except that I love you..." Race began slowly. "I grew up without a lot of people to count on. When they find out how difficult I am to be around, they run the other way..." Race stated, wiping at his eyes again. "I don't mean the hospitals n' the meds n' the coughs. People 'r fine with that," he clarified quickly. "I's talkin' about the way I blow things outta proportion n' collapse afta' a day a work cause I'm dyin'..." Spot laughed at that. Race did too. "I neva' thought that I'd fall in love. I believed even less in the possibility a' someone fallin' in love with me... but even afta' seein' me at my weakest, you's was still there... n' you stayed till ya knew I was betta'..."

Jack remembered it all. Every moment of Race sobbing because his new boyfriend was going to leave. He was going to think he was weak and stupid and too much.

That's not what happened. Not even a little bit.

"I promise to neva' forget everything that you've done for me. I promise that I will always stick with ya, no matter what. When you're strong and when you're weak and everythin' in between n' I promise that as long as you're next ta me, I will make you smile and laugh. I will always love ya, Sean. I could neva' love no one else the way I love you..."

They slipped the rings onto each other's fingers and Jack's chest tightened. David walked them through saying "I do," and his heart beat faster, until finally, the words "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Higgins-Conlon. You may kiss," were spoken.

The two young men grinned at each other before Spot pulled Race to him and their lips locked against each other.

Jack heard cameras clicking. He heard people cheering. All he could do was watch as Spot swept his little brother off his feet and then carried him down the isle.

It was still hard. But his brother was going to be okay. He was still with someone who loved him.

The wedding photos were happening while everyone settled in at the reception. Jack watched the two grooms laugh as they posed with one another. Darcy snapped pictures and positioned them in sickeningly cute positions before they got Race to stand with Crutchie and Jack.

Eventually, Darcy asked Crutchie to step aside, so that he could get a shot of just the brothers. And Jack didn't know if he could do this. But the second he looked at his kid, his heart melted. He was more happy than he ever had been in his entire life. Jack knew it by the grin on his face. And he couldn't help but smile right along with him.

He wrapped an arm around Race's neck, pulling him close and pressing a kiss to the back of the child's head as his brother grinned at the camera.

And Darcy snapped the picture quick.

"My little brother is known as many things..." Jack began. Everyone in the small tent that their reception was held in was watching him. But he didn't care. "More than anything, he's known as a pain in my ass..." Race was sitting in a chair beside Spot who was getting the day's date tattooed on his wrist. It was Hot Shot's wedding gift to them. Race was getting his next. "He has always been notorious for doin' exactly the opposite of what I tell him to..." Race laughed at that. So did some others. So Jack continued. "Don't run. Don't pick fights. Don't play poker. Don't date the boy from Brooklyn."

At that, everyone laughed. Jack just smiled over at the couple. "I didn't know what ta think when I saw a kid walkin' my brother home outta nowhere. He was covered in tats, wore a leather jacket n' rode a loud as hell motorcycle n' he was everythin' I wanted Racer ta stay away from," Jack stated honestly. "But that didn't stop him from seein' him. Sneakin' out at night ta go on dates. Textin' him n' not tellin' me about it. N' I didn't know until Spot called me one night. From then, on they were inseparable..."

It felt like yesterday. Race wasn't supposed to grow up. "Tyler... you are the most important person in the world ta me. Even my wife knows that," he laughed. Katherine nudged him from her seat beside him. "And I need you ta know how proud I am of you. You've made it so far. You found somethin' special n' you damn well betta' hold onto it as tight as you can... n' Spot... there ain't no one in the world like my baby brother. You hold onto him as tight as ya can n' you neva' let go..." Jack instructed. The other man nodded at him, reaching out with his free hand to grasp at his husband's. "You two are both so strong. So much stronger than you know. N' now ya have each otha' which makes ya even stronger..."

Glancing around, he grabbed his glass off the table and raised it up, nodding over to his baby brother who was watching him with happy tears in his eyes. "So now we'll raise a glass ta you both. Congratulations, baby brother..." he smiled. "To Sean and Tyler Higgins-Conlon..."

An echo of the words filled the room. And everyone drank.

And Jack had finally let go.

**There you have it. I know it probably wasn't exactly what you had in mind, but I couldn't stop myself once I started writing it. **

**Again, happy birthday AriaMoon_79252!**

**(Just wanna say real quick that if any of you guys have sent me any requests on my last few fics, I have read them and I've taken them! Thank you so much!) **

**As always, thanks for reading! Make sure to tell me what you liked, what you didn't, what you'd change or what you'd improve by leaving me a review! Love ya, fansies! **


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